and brianna came tumblring down...

nightmaresdream:

cookingformorons:

fuckingrecipes:

DIDN’T GET YOUR PARTNER A VALENTINE?
UNDERSTANDABLE, BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY BEING A SEXY BASTARD AND SAVING THE WORLD OR SOME SHIT.
NOW RINSE THE BLOOD OFF YOUR HANDS AND GRAB SOME SHIT FROM THE STORE, BECAUSE EVERY ASSHOLE DESERVES SOME ROMANTIC CRAP ONCE IN A WHILE.
AFTER YOU RESTOCK YOUR SILVER BULLETS, SALT AND STITCH TOGETHER YOUR OWN WOUNDS LIKE A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER, BUY SOME RASPBERRIES AND THREE TYPES OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS.
WHY THREE?
VARIETY, ASSHOLE! IT MAKES YOU LOOK CLASSY, LIKE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED, INSTEAD OF WHIPPING TOGETHER SOME BULLSHIT AT THE LAST MINUTE LIKE A FORGETFUL BITCH.
SO GET YOUR MILK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE AND DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS. TRAVEL INTO THE WILDS AND COLLECT ONLY THE PUREST AND MOST SUCCULENT RASPBERRIES FOR THE PERSON OF YOUR AFFECTIONS.
OR MAYBE YOU’RE MAKING THIS TREAT FOR YOURSELF, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. SHUT THE HELL UP.

NOW DELICATELY PICK UP A RASPBERRY, ‘CAUSE THOSE ASSHOLES ARE EASY TO DAMAGE. REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUT TOGETHER AN ARC REACTOR IN A CAVE AND BE A GENTLE BASTARD AS YOU PUSH THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS INSIDE EACH RASPBERRY.
NOW PUT THE BOWL OF PERFECTION AND SHIT INTO THE FRIDGE OR FREEZER, DEPENDING ON HOW HARDCORE YOU ARE.
DON’T FORGET TO PRESENT THESE DELICIOUS LITTLE BASTARDS IN YOUR HAND-MADE SILVER CHALICE, BECAUSE YOU’RE A CLASSY ASSHOLE LIKE THAT.

I DID NOT KNOW THIS BLOG EXISTED

I WANT THESE

I’m really dreading the day I turn 18 cause I will no longer be the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen

(via nuclearhoney)

2008:	wow I was so stupid last year
2009:	wow I was so stupid last year
2010:	wow I was so stupid last year
2011:	wow I was so stupid last year
2012:	wow I was so stupid last year
2013:	wow I was so stupid last year
to be continued

jfarge:

ven0moth:

why do they sell these

to commit a murder most fowl

sodamnrelatable:

When your friends start picking up phrases you use all the time

(Source: terriblesmaug, via thesewingsweremadetofly05)

I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities

(Source: goblinparty, via babytarzayn)

why do pretty faces happen to bad people

(Source: godsavethekiwi, via crystallized-teardrops)

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

there are two kinds of people

(Source: dogs420, via crystallized-teardrops)

“if you don’t have this on your blog I will judge you”

(Source: amaiimono, via crystallized-teardrops)

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